The Goddess Reconsiders


By Jo Carpignano


Having created the universe, I often meet with fellow Creators of Parallel Universes so that we might review our accomplishments and plan for the future. Not that I stand alone in this, but I’ve done some spectacular work in my time; and while promptly outlining their own accomplishments, the association membership agrees with me.

With an intellect that nobody fully understands, I’ve created well spaced galaxies in my universe so that all behave in an orderly manner. Within each galaxy, my carefully spaced stars are surrounded by planets adhering to an established schedule, thereby avoiding unnecessary collisions. I have little tolerance for messy collisions. They’re such a nuisance to recalculate.

Now and then however, to create a bit of excitement, I introduce an explosion or two, sending a jolt of energy through my well ordered universe. I introduce these diversions in order to avoid monotony, since adherence to a perfectly balanced schedule would be terribly dull and awfully boring. I firmly believe in balance. A well ordered universe with a bit of excitement now and again makes for a more interesting operation.

Except for dark matter and black holes, I allow a good deal of transparency in my universe. There is no need to hide work that is well done. Within each of my galaxies I’ve sprinkled in a variety of developmental levels with regard to complexity and sophistication. Some galaxies are blessed with more stars than others; some stars in each galaxy are brighter than others; and some planets in each star system are more fully evolved than others. On the whole I am well satisfied with my work and take pride in watching my universe develop over time. It is a delight to me as I watch the evolution of the Star Systems I’ve created – much as an earthly mother takes pride in watching how her children’s lives develop. Gazing with satisfaction upon the magnificence of my creations I am seldom disappointed with how well my universe functions.

Lately however, my attention has been called to one of the Star Systems in the Milky Way Galaxy where everything has gone according to schedule for some time. I’ve begun to have increasing concern with a small speck of matter that encircles the Sun. I call that little fragment of the universe, Earth. Endowed with rich resources, and having developed a wide variety of inhabitants, I was pleased to keep my distance and allow whatever might happen next, just happen. You see I do allow a considerable degree of independence to the more insignificant aspects of my creation, since attending to minor details tends to become tedious.

Left alone to develop over time, I have paid little attention to the minutia of Earth’s evolution I was amused to observe as bit by bit the Earth inhabitants have grown and changed to the extent that their curiosity has expanded to include other aspects of my creation existing nearby. First they explored their single satellite, the Moon; then they examined fellow orbiters Saturn and Mars; and now they have wandered beyond Pluto, the farthest planet from their star, the Sun. It was amusing to observe their squabbling over whether Pluto was a true planet, then decided to compromise and called it a dwarf planet

Showing considerable capacity to develop the intellect with which I have generously endowed them, the inhabitants of Earth have done many fruitful things with the freedom to use their resources. They’ve even created an exploratory device: a space vehicle named New Horizons, to investigate objects beyond Pluto. After having circled the dwarf planet, this spacecraft has successfully penetrated the Kuiper Belt. This development will allow Earthlings to begin examining the emerging planetary formations which I’m in the process of considering. Quite impressive!

This is not to say that they haven’t made mistakes. As a matter of fact, during their relatively short existence, they’ve made too many errors for me to comfortably enumerate. Among the most egregious is their tendency to be greedy with the rich resources which I’ve deposited in their planet’s evolution. They have a terrible habit of ignoring the obvious dangers of overpopulation and casually dismissing the depletion of precious resources which are difficult to replace.  But up to this point, few of their mistakes have been irreversible. Hoping that with a bit more time, most of their recent atrocities would either be corrected or resolved, I was content to wait. You see, I am a forgiving Creator of the Universe, as well as being hopeful that all of my creations would eventually measure up to my high expectations. Fellow associates, in the Creators of Parallel Universes organization, have found reason to chide me for holding back from initiating corrections. But I follow my own mind on these matters, and was willing to allow a bit more time for greater wisdom to develop.

On the other hand, it is possible that I have spent sufficient time in waiting. After a great deal of thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that it might well be that having had a good deal of experience with these matters, my wise friends are right. It is possible that my time might better be spent in taking more direct action to correct these minor annoyances. After all, anticipating disaster and planning ahead have always been my forte’; and although nearly perfect, it is conceivable that I too can make mistakes.

Perhaps any further delay in correcting this particular error might indeed cause more discomfort than I am willing to tolerate. As I’ve said before, I do have an aversion to cleaning up messy situations. I’m afraid that allowing one single creature with unbridled authority, to precipitate the complete destruction of a favored planet, would be most annoying. I think I might have been overly generous to allow such an immature individual to acquire any share of my intellect. I regret having to admit it, but this was a big mistake, and probably does require prompt attention.

Perhaps a well timed, carefully placed sinkhole at a specific golf course would “clear the air” as one might say?


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