KITTYGIRL IN: THE SINISTER SUGAR RUSH!

 

By Dave Strom

 

Audio link: https://soundcloud.com/user-286765515-358691036/the-sinister-sugar-rush

 

SURFVILLE ELEMENTARY SUPER-KID SCHOOL THE PLAYGROUND. LATE OCTOBER. A FRIDAY. HIGH NOON.

Eight year old Katsuko Kittygirl Kimura purred. Her tall, strong hero was the life of the party. Really loud life!

WHAM! BOM! BAM! Super Holly Hansson punched dents into a steel block the size of a refrigerator. BIFF! POW! BLAM! “THIS is what I do…” She shoved a cupcake into her mouth, “GULP! Yum! To EEEEEVIL!!!” KA-BOMMM!!!

Wow, Holly had punched a hole through the block! She bowed to Kittygirl’s classmates and teachers. The Jamaican art teacher twisted and bent while he aimed his camera: SNAP! “Magnific!” SNAP! “Exquisite!” SNAP SNAP! “Dee camera loves ‘er!”

Kittygirl looked up to her best friend and the mightiest superhero in the whole entire world. And the prettiest, with those big blue eyes, proud beaky nose, and long blonde sun-glowy hair. Holly looked heroic in her blue supersuit and red cape, and messy as she licked gooey brown frosting off her lips. Her long legs took big steps to the picnic tables that had hot dogs, hamburgers, a veggie bowl, cupcakes, and the banner: HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY, SUPER HOLLY HANSSON! “C’mon, Katsuko, let’s eat!”

Kittygirl scampered to catch up. “You’ve had sixteen cupcakes already!”

Holly stuffed another in her mouth. “Shheventeen! MMM!”

Kittygirl pouted. “Heroes shouldn’t be piggy.”

Holly gulped. “You’re my hero.”

Kittygirl gulped too, even though her mouth was empty. “No, I’m your biggest fan.”

Holly smiled down at Kittygirl. “You built my fan club. You help me control my temper. You helped organize this birthday party, sweetie. And you saved me from that evil Ice Cream Guy.” She winked. “If I write that into my comic books, you might get a fan club too.” She snarfed two more cupcakes. “MMMMMM!!!”

The photographer gently pushed a tiny kindergarten girl toward Holly. “‘Olly, could you watch my darling Lily for dee minute? Don’t blink or you will miss her!”

Lily wore kittycat ears on her curly dark hair. She looked up at Kittygirl. Her eyes were big and brown. “Hi.”

Holly smacked her lips. “BURP! Sure, Shamar. Wanna cupcake, Lily?”

Lily shook her head, her eyes stuck on Kittygirl. “Too sweet.”

Shamar marched toward the teachers. “Say fromage!”

Giggling girls and boys gobbled creamy cupcakes. Tucker and Wrigley, the doggie-superpowered brothers, shoved fistfuls into their yapping mouths: “BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP!

Holly wiped her mouth with her hand, the opposite of a dainty princess. “I’m the only one who likes the mocha frosting. Don’t you like the white frosting, Katsuko?”

Kittygirl wrinkled her nose. “I scraped it off, smelled too sugary— WHOA!”

ZOOM! Wrigley galloped past. “YOUCANTCATCHME YOUCANTCATCHME BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!” ZOOM! His wind blast swished Kittygirl’s long black hair.

Holly laughed. “I remember yrfvrticrmzwzbi.”

That sounded weird! Kittygirl wiggled her ears. “What?”

Lily tugged Kittygirl’s shirt. “‘Holly said, ‘Your favorite ice cream is wasabi.’ I like it too.”

Holly dizzily shook her head. “Wow. I feel like I drank five gallons of iced coffee.” She looked around the playground. Her eyebrows mashed together. “Katsuko, how many of your classmates have super-speed?”

“Only a couple.” But everyone was going super-fast! Kids in the inflatable trampoline house bounced off bottom and walls and top like ping pong balls: BOING BOING BOING! Kids swung around the swing-set like tetherballs: WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH!!! Kids super-speed RAN RAN RAN RAN RAN!!! Tucker and Wrigley were doggie missiles: “BARKBARKBARKBARKROOO!!!”

Holly said, “Smthngswrngtzzkdzzlkrdytbrnp!” She was shaking head-to-toe!

Lily tugged Kittygirl’s shirt again. “Holly said, ‘Something’s wrong, these kids look ready to burn up.'”

Hair stood up on Kittygirl’s neck! Her kittycat-sense, warning of danger! She grabbed Lily’s shoulders. “Don’t move! Speed is evil!”

Lily pouted. “I’ve been speedy for months. Wanna see me visit the ice cream place a mile away?” ZOOM! ZOOM! Lily licked an ice cream cone. “Wanna see me do it again?”

POOMP! Kittygirl knew that sound! The teachers were tied up in—SNIFF, SNIFF!—a spaghetti net!

Behind the picnic tables stood those two white-apron, hairnetted cafeteria lunch ladies, they were supposed to be in jail! The big round one held a double-barreled, cafeteria-food shotgun loaded with a big metal jar. “Gotcha! Time out for teachers!”

The little skinny one studied a display on a big silvery barrel. “YAH HAH HAAA!!! Those frosting-filled kids will generate enough superpower to make us rich!”

Kittygirl snarled, “RRROWL! Stop your evil right now!” She extended her claws: SKNNT!

Lily cheered, “Go, Kittygirl, go!”

The big lady opened a bottle. “Make us!”

“I will!” Kittygirl charged like a cheetah, she’d claw and punch and… SNIFF, SNIFF, something smelled good. Her feet slowed, her heart thumped, her mind got mooshy, she shuffled closer… closer…

The lady waved the bottle like a hypnotist watch. “Have catnip gravy, kittycat!”

WHOOSH! Everything blurred for a second! Lily had yanked Kittygirl back real fast. “Are you okay, Kittygirl?”

Kittygirl blew out her nose to clear that smell. “FNFF! Yeah. FNFF! I think catnip’s my kryptonite.” She tried to sound like Super Holly: “Get behind me, Lily, or they’ll use fiendish food on you too!”

Lily hid behind Kittygirl. “Okay.”

Super Holly was a blonde earthquake, but she raised her fist for a super-telekinetic punch. “I’LLSMSHEM!!!” But she couldn’t aim her thrashing arm!

The skinny lady laughed. “YAH HAH HAAAA! Go ahead, Holly, I’d love to see you go boom!”

Holly shook like a paint shaker. She hugged herself. She slowed a little.

Kittygirl gulped. “Did you say, ‘Boom?'”

The big lunch lady smiled super-mean. “Yeah. These kids who ate our super-frosting will reach critical mass in a couple of minutes. Allow us to demonstrate with this cute little puppy!”

The skinny lady held a puppy in one hand and a cupcake in the other. “Kibble time!”

The puppy gobbled the cupcake, squirmed into a blur, went “ARFARFARFARFARFARFARF,” glowed, and KABOOM!

Lily whimpered, “Poor doggie.”

Kittygirl bared her fangs at those grinning lunch ladies! “HISS! You blew up a puppy!”

The big lunch lady aimed a hose attached to the silvery barrel. “Of course! We’re EEEEEEVIL! Let’s see how much superpower we got!”

The hose snorked up the left-behind puppy glow with a SHLURP! A dial on the barrel creeped up with a DING!

The ladies sneered at the picnic table. “No cupcakes. We’ll be back with more, stick around for the fireworks! YAH HAH HAAAA!!!” They trotted toward their evil white van.

Super Holly shook so hard her teeth TOK-TOK-TOK-TOK-TOKed like woodpeckers!

Lily stared up at Kittygirl. “Can you save Holly?”

Kittygirl didn’t know how.

ZOOM! Tucker zipped around the cupcake table! “BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK EAT-EAT-EAT-EAT-EAT!!!” He shoved carrot sticks in his mouth, chewed, swallowed… and stood still! “BURP! I’m okay.”

Kittygirl jumped with joy! “YES!” She grabbed the big bowl of veggies: carrot and celery sticks, broccoli, cauliflower, little tomatoes, zucchini strips, guacamole dip, and what Kittygirl liked best: pickled Japanese radishes. She held the bowl to her super-shaking superhero. “Eat veggies!”

Holly shook her head fast: VBB-VBB-VBB-VBB! “KDSFRST!”

Lily said, “Holly said, ‘Kids first.'”

Holly was so brave. Kittygirl grabbed Lily’s shoulders and put on a superhero face (she hoped)! “Lily, you need to run FAST! Feed the kids veggies so they won’t blow up!”

Lily took the bowl, her eyes serious. “I will.” She ran like lightening: ZOOMMM!!!

Kittygirl turned to her tall blonde hero, now a big blue blur. “Holly?”

Holly said, “YS?”

Kittygirl swallowed a lump in her throat. “Don’t blow up. I love you.”

Holly hugged herself harder, her arms glowing blue with telekinetic power. “ILVU2!”

Those mean lunch ladies carried two huge plates of cupcakes. “Hey, hey, the gang’s all here! They’ll gobble what’s here, gobble what’s here!”

Kittygirl tippy-toed and wiggled her hips for a pounce.

The big lunch lady waved the jar. “Ah, ah, aaaah!”

Kittygirl chewed her lip! Superman used lead to block kryptonite, how could Kittygirl block that evil catnip smell?

Like a super ping-pong ball, Lily bounced from kid to kid to kid and smooshed veggies into mouths. They stopped and chewed: KRNNCH KRNNCH KRNNCH.

Uh oh, the skinny lunch lady noticed. “Hey! That little brat is taking our money!”

The big lunch lady held a thick, sickly green pistol. “My lima bean blaster will stop her! Ready…”

Kittygirl sneaked around the table, those cupcakes smelled icky sweet… Of course! Kittygirl smooshed one on her nose!

The big lunch lady aimed at Lily! “Aim…”

Sickening frosting blocked Kittygirl’s nostrils! She pounced!

“Fi— HEY!” said the big lunch lady as Kittygirl kicked the gun out of her hands!

Kittygirl perfectly landed on her feet. She heard a CLICK from behind.

The lunch ladies aimed huge food shotguns. “Eat mystery meatballs!” POOMP POOMP! “Rotten rice pudding!” POOMP!

Kittygirl dodged left and right!

“Gooshy canned fruit!” POOMP! “Putrid mashed potatoes!” POOMP! POOMP!

Jumped over and under!

“Grimy gobs of grease!” POOMP! POOMP! POOMP!

Sprang twenty feet high: BOING!

The lunch ladies squinted up at bright sunlight. “Where’d she go?”

Kittygirl landed behind them. “Here!”

They whirled and looked down like Kittygirl was a bug to squish. “There!” Their guns bumped into each other. “Oof! Gidoutta my way!”

Ha, Kittygirl was too close! She extended her claws: SKNNT! And slashed!

The ladies held half a gun each. The front halves fell to the ground: KLUNK KLUNK.

The skinny lady looked at the big jar on her half a shotgun. “Whew, my super-compression cafeteria food jar is only cracked. If it had broken—“

ZOOOOOOOMMM!!! Wrigley ran between Kittygirl and the ladies! “CANTCATCHME CANTCATCHME BARKBARKBARKROOOO!!!”

KKKKKKKKKRRRRRK… Uh oh, the jar! Kittygirl leaped back!

KRACK!!! SHHPLURRRRRRRBP!!!

Ew, what a mess. Two unhappy lunch lady heads poked out of a car-sized mound of greasy stinky rotten icky goopy cafeteria food. They said, “I hate kids.”

The kids had stopped running. They stood chewing: CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH.

Except for Lily zooming after Wrigley and yelling, “Eat your veggies, eat your veggies!”

Wrigley ran so fast that the grass caught fire! “YOUCANTCATCHME YOUCANTCATCHME BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!” He was glowing! OH NO!

Super Holly reached out, formed a giant telekinetic blue hand, and caught Wrigley like a baseball: WHAP!

Lily smooshed veggies into Wrigley’s mouth. “EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!”

KRUNCH-KRUNCH-GULP! Wrigley breathed hard. “Ooo, what happened— BURRRRP!

Kittygirl yelled, “Lily! Feed Holly!”

Lily shook the bowl. “No more veggies!”

Holly shook so fast that the air throbbed! “GETBACKGETBACK I’MGONNABLOW!!!”

Kittygirl scaredy-cat hopped, what to do, what to do— BEANS! She pounced and hugged super-shaking Holly! “L-l-l-lily! G-g-g-gimme that green g-g-g-gun!”

“Okay.” ZOOM! It was in Kittygirl’s hand!

Kittygirl stuck it in Holly’s mouth and pulled the trigger.

BLORP! Holly’s cheeks bulged way out. Her eyes squinched, her lips twitched, but she swallowed. She slowed to normal and stuck out her tongue. “Bleah. I hate lima beans.”

Kittygirl kissed Holly’s sad face. “Sorry.” She smiled at Lily. “Thanks for helping.”

Lily smiled back. She carried a cardboard box almost as big as she was. “Anything for you, Kittygirl. Holly, are these comic books for us?”

Holly knelt down and took the box from tiny hands. “Yes. Thanks for being so helpful.” She stood up and yelled, “Who wants comic books?”

Kids trotted to Holly. “Me me me me me!!!” Except for Tucker and Wrigley, who chewed the spaghetti net off the teachers.

Kittygirl looked way, way up to Holly signing comic books, and purred. Holly looked happy.

Lily tugged at Kittygirl’s shirt. “Kittygirl? Will you sign my comic book?”

No one had ever asked Kittygirl that before. “But Super Holly wrote that.”

Holly handed Kittygirl a pen. “Sweetie, I wrote these for you. Look at the cover.”

The comic book cover showed Kittygirl punching that evil Ice Cream Guy with a battle cry of, “Kitty power!” Kittygirl felt heroic. She signed the comic book: To Lily, from Kittygirl. Thanks for saving the day.

Little Lily hugged the comic book. “Thank you!” She looked way, way up to Kittygirl with a big bright smile. “I’m your biggest fan!”

 


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